Posts Tagged ‘expectations’

Pemilukada 2012 ini adalah sesuatu yang spesial bagi saya. Pemilukada ini, mungkin menjadi titik awal pemahaman yang lebih baik akan hak politik. Tentu dipengaruhi oleh sarana komunikasi dan informasi yang semakin baik. Akses internet juga membuka era keterbukaan dan, semoga, pemahaman yang lebih terbuka juga. Selain itu, saat ini sedang mengerjakan penelitian mengenai aksesibilitas Pemilu bagi penyandang disabilitas, yang tentunya semakin memamparkan berbagai aspek dari hak politik terutama Pemilu. Akibatnya, ini adalah kali pertama saya benar-benar menelusuri para kandidat. Pertama kalinya saya menghargai krusialnya hak suara tersebut.


Tidak berarti bahwa saya sering golput, tetapi penjelasan Tempo disini, memang menggambarkan keputusan saya untuk pernah golput. Saya tidak melihat adanya perbedaan antara memilih dan tidak memilih. Tidak melihat adanya pengaruh satu suara terhadap kehidupan sehari-hari. Bahwa pemenang selalu dari kelompok “si kuat”, “si banyak”, “si kaya” dan seterusnya. Ditambah masih memiliki pemikiran bahwa politik itu hal yang terlalu rumit untuk dipahami oleh orang awam seperti saya. Saya tidak paham bagaimana yang tadinya berseberangan kemudian karena kepentingan politik, perbedaan itu langsung dipoles sedemikian rupa agar menjadi sama. Ah sungguh membingungkan dan jadi merasa enggan untuk repot-repot mencari tahu lebih lanjut? Biarlah saja mereka yang bertanding.

Lalu kenapa sekarang?

Ada beberapa hal sebenarnya. Pertama, saya semakin jengah dengan kehidupan di Jakarta. Jakarta yang semakin macet. Jakarta yang semakin tidak ramah. Jakarta yang semakin tidak jelas. Ya, saya katakan tidak jelas. Saya tidak dapat memahami bagaimana pelanggaran-pelanggaran yang jelas merupakan pelanggaran masih tetap berjaya.




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On the day of my graduation, one of the speaker had speech that it is extremely important to have community. It means to join good professional association(s). I remember it very well, although until now I still haven’t found the right association yet. There are a few associations on social research or development or similar to those. However, they were overseas. Many interesting associations are even not only based on interest but also restricted in specified geographic areas.

I would not be mind to join one or two of those. But, I am currently seeking for more “local” ones. Either in the regional or the country. It is because I would like to extend my network! To learn from others’ experiences, to hear and share, to associate one another. I still highly value the real discussion although I am grateful with the online ones. I like to put a face on a name! (more…)

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(while dragging the television box into the security check and lift) “There are taxies in the lobby”

(smiling) “But this lift can go directly to the basement too right?”

“ooh yes, the parking lot for motorcylces is at the basement second floor”

(smiling again)

Those conversation happened when my boyfriend and me bought a television. Obviously the salesman thought that we were a young couple (although we are not that young) who use public transportation. Or even if we went there with personal transportation, it would be a motorcycle. In other words, he did not (or does not?) classify us as “worth” enough to use any private car. Well, he did not wrong totally as we used the car from the company. We did not feel bothered too as the salesman did not say those words with negative expression as all of us might see on how the saleswomen/men in the sort-of-exclusive stores do. Well, we experience this sort of behaviour several times so it would not be that surprising anymore. We even observe this.

Afterwards, we laughed and smiled. We even still laugh on that event whenever we remember. It is understandable why he said that way. We wore polo shirts, jeans and sandals. We spent around half an hour only to think which kind of television that we will buy, of course, with making  comparison on prices and benefits. It might be too long for him. As the televisions that we were compared are not the luxurious ones (not those with eight digits Rupiahs). The standard ones! He might think that, “Gosh, they think that long only to buy this one standard television“. Social expectations.

A friend said to me, that whenever she go to department stores with her friends, they always play a little game. “The perfume sample” The game is very simple, whoever be offered of a piece of paper contains sprayed fragrance means that she is the one who wear clothes “properly”. That she is the targeted consumer.


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None of us loved to be ignored. None of us would not want to be taken care of. As a being who has been blessed with feelings, we will always looking for comfort and safetiness. We will always seek for love.
We will always seek for affection. I believe this is the foundation in every kind of relationship. So basic.

Whenever we feel be loved, no matter how hard life could be, we will get the courage and strength. No matter how difficult the situation is, love remains. Indeed, the power of love might sounds so patethic. Yet, it so true.
That love can be the reason to live and to die. Love can be the source of laughter, but also the tears.
Double-edged sword.

So, what would happen if we have not feel that we are beloved while we are facing huge problems? What would we feel, think and do? Would we still have the strength to live? The spirit to keep on struggling and fighting? Would we still be sane?

Well, I might not.


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It has been twelve years. Yesterday, I wrote and have published – [hurts, yet ought not to be forgotten] what I saw and experience on that day. I described what were happened on that day, according to me. It is based on my own experiences. Last year, I also have expressed what I think about the same day. The post is in Bahasa that is titled [amnesia kolektif] – collective amnesia. I argue how people and the nation, seem to get used to forget the past. No matter how barbaric, there is a tendency amongst people to ‘let we forget’.

After these years, there is still no further explanation on what really happened according to the government. There was a Joint Fact Finding Team – Tim Gabungan Pencari Fakta. This team tried to get the facts and they even have made recommendations. The report can be attained at Semanggi Peduli. They did it greatly, though they were only given  a three-months working period. They have put the numbers of victims, yet I believe that the iceberg phenomenon does apply. They said that the first-hand-victims were lots of Chinese Indonesians, though were not the only. Lots of loss. Kidnapped people. They have recommended that the government needs to continue the investigation to get details including the real intention and who were responsible. Unfortunately, I have no idea how the government reacts to this report.

I understand that to reveal any barbaric events would be hard as look for a tiny needle in a haystack. I understand that the barbaric events couldn’t be helped as it was – might – highly related with the most current politics situation. The chaotic situation. I understand that it would be harder for the victims to re-open their old wounds. I also understand that there is a myth – including amongst Chinese Indonesians – that people should go forward and forget the past. That no matter how hurts they were, they should move forward, continue their lives.  Indeed, related with the commonly spoken quote: ‘the show must goes on’.  I even could understand, though it would be hard, if the key sources have been died for sometimes. Well, in twelve years, things might have happened.

To reveal the facts, will never be an easy job.Never ever will be. Especially if the facts are in the past. We might see how hard and how long that be needed by historians. So, I couldn’t agree with what I read last two days. There was a Minister who said that ‘it is a bit difficult’ as the reason to ‘no longer look for May riots culprits’.


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Is that so great to thirst of being the winner? Is it that great to always put others as your competitors?
Seriously, have you ever get tired?

Call me a looser, but yes, I do think that to always compete with others would be too tired and boredom for me. It would make my life so full of rage and hatred. And even now, while I was writing this post, only to imagine that situation, I feel tired.

Yeah, lectured me anything. Trust me, I would only consider it as a wishy-washy-comment.

I do understand the importance of competition attitude. I could write a bunch of benefits to have that attitude. I do agree that competition attitude might motivate us to pull out the best of us. That we would keep on learning, not only to improve what we have got but also to gain new knowledge and skills.

Meanwhile, according to me, the best way to live is to live life to the fullest. Hurray to hedonism! *evilish grin*


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Dua bulan sudah saya kembali menghadapi kemacetan dan kebisingan lalu lintas ibu kota. Dua bulan lebih pula saya tidak produktif menulis. Dua bulan yang terasa berjalan dengan sangat cepat. Cukup banyak kejadian dan observasi yang sebenarnya bisa dijadikan topik. Tapi… Seperti yang pernah saya sebutkan ke seorang kawan, derasnya informasi disertai teriknya cuaca telah membuat saya pening.

Ya! Pening!

Dari kesibukan kota ini pun sudah terasa pening. Lalu lintas yang semakin padat, diiringi dengan gaya jagoan para pengemudinya. Sempat timbul pertanyaan, apakah ada toko serba ada yang menjual nyawa cadangan? Atau memang sudah sedemikian penatnya kehidupan? Jangankan tata krama, aturan yang jelas pun tidak dipedulikan.

Kesenjangan sosial yang semakin besar, merek-merek terkenal atau bahkan baru dikenal namun langsung mentereng. Pembangunan tempat perbelanjaan yang seakan adu hebat dan adu mewah walaupun disekitarnya tetap pemukiman kumuh. Kendaraan-kendaraan mewah lalu lalang melintasi anak-anak yang besar di jalanan dengan muka mengiba sebagai penglaris dagangannya.

Kekisruhan ini ternyata tidak cukup disitu saja.

Ketika membuka lembaran media cetak, menyalakan media elektronik… Topik yang paling utama bukanlah masalah-masalah seperti tadi. Mungkin karena sudah ‘sewajarnya’ sehingga tidak laris ‘dijual’. Toh sudah demikian adanya, mungkin, memang tak akan berubah.

Topik paling utama yang diangkat adalah masalah politik. Sidang demi sidang, semakin banyak sidang semakin banyak alokasi dana. Perdebatan dan komentar yang kadang sangat tidak layak dilakukan oleh orang-orang yang katanya kaum terdidik, terpilih dan pemimpin. Tak heran bila lalu sikap mereka yang dipimpin pun tidak lebih baik, wajar bukan?! Demonstrasi sebagai wujud demokrasi dan kebebasan berpendapat diartikan bebas berkuasa.

Sementara itu, selaluuu aja ada mereka yang bersuara sumbang. Selalu ada yang mengatakan

‘ah kamu bisa apa?’

‘ngomong aja gampang’

‘ayo ikut mengubah jangan banyak comel’.

Ah membingungkan memang! Mungkin memang belum mampu ya menerima perbedaan. Atau mungkin memang terdidik dengan melihat hanya hitam dan putih dalam semua hal. Ah tapi hipotesa terakhir tampaknya kurang tepat. Bila memang melihat ‘hanya’ hitam dan putih, seharusnya urusan lalu lintas tadi tidak terjadi donk?!


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